39. I know how I want to feel
Sometimes, when you’re in the midst of an uncomfortable situation, you struggle to find any
positive aspects within it. Some things are intolerable. Some things are so big and so bad, that it
does not seem possible for you to find anything positive about it. But that is because you’re
attempting to take too large of a jump from the awfulness of what you’re focused upon to the
solution that you desire. In other words, if you want to find an action solution right now that will fix
this, but you find yourself in a situation where no action that you can take seems appropriate,
always remember that while there may not be a positive aspect to your action in this moment, and
while you may not be able to figure out what to do that would make you feel better, you always do
know how you want to feel. It’s a bit like someone saying, “I’ve just jumped out of an airplane and
I have no parachute. What shout I do now?”
There are situations where, given the current circumstances, there is no action or thought that at this
point will make a significant enough difference to change the outcome that’s barreling in upon you.
And in the same way that sometimes you cannot find any action that will fix things, there’s no
thought that will immediately change it either. But if you understand the power of your thought, and
the incredible leverage that consistently good feeling thoughts provide, and you begin deliberately
choosing your thoughts by utilizing the guidance that your feelings or emotions are indicating to
you, you can easily transform your life into predominantly good feeling experiences by focusing
upon the improved feeling.
If you’re able to find even the smallest feeling of relief in a deliberately chosen thought, your gentle
path toward your solution will begin. What to do in certain situations may not by clear to you, and
you may at times not even be able to identify what it is that you want to have, but there’s never a
time that you are unable to identify to some extent how you want to feel. In other words, you know
that you would rather feel happy than sad, you know you’d rather be refreshed than tired, or
invigorated rather than enervated. You know that you would rather feel productive than
unproductive. You know that you would rather feel free than confined, and growing rather than
stagnant.
There is not enough action available to compensate for misaligned thought. But when you begin to
gain control of the way you feel, by more deliberately choosing the direction of your thought, you
will discover the powerful leverage in thought. If you will bring yourself to a more deliberate
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control of your own thought, you will bring yourself to a more deliberate control of your own life
experience.
40. Nothing is more important than feeling good
Becoming more deliberate about the things you think is not a difficult thing. You’re often particular
about what you eat, or the vehicle you drive, or the clothes you wear, and being a deliberate thinker
does not require much more deliberate discrimination than that. But learning to deliberately direct
your thoughts toward the aspect of the subject that feels best to you will have a much greater impact
on the improvement of your life than the choosing of a meal or of a vehicle or of clothing.
Once you read these words and feel your own personal resonance with their meaning and power,
you’ll never again feel negative emotion without realizing that you’re receiving important guidance
to assist you in guiding your thoughts in a more productive and beneficial direction. In other words,
you will never again feel negative emotion and not understand that it means you’re in the process of
attracting something unwanted.
A significant thing is happening with you as you’re coming into conscious awareness of your
emotions and the guidance that they provide. Because even in your ignorance of what negative
emotion meant, you were still negatively attracting. And so, understanding your emotion now gives
you control of your life experience.
When you’re feeling less than good, if you’ll stop and say, “Nothing is more important than that I
feel good. I want to find a reason now to feel good”, you will find an improved thought, which will
lead to another and another. And as you develop the habit of looking for good feeling thoughts, the
circumstances that surround you must improve, the LOA demands it.
When you feel good, you experience a sensation of doors opening as the Universe is cooperating
with you. And when you feel bad, it feels as if doors are closing, and the cooperation stops.
Anytime you feel negative emotion, you’re in the mode of resisting something that you want, and
that resistance takes its toll on you. It takes its toll on your physical body, and it takes its toll on the
wonderful things that you are allowing to come into your experience.
Through your process of living life and noticing things wanted and unwanted, you’ve created a sort
of vibrational escrow, which in a sense holds for you those wanted things you’ve identified, until
you become a close enough vibrational match to them that you allow yourself a fully manifested
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receiving of them. But until you find a way to feel good about them, even though they have not yet
manifested in your experience, it may seem to you that they’re on the outside of a door that you
cannot open. However, as you begin to look for more positive aspects regarding the things that
occupy your thoughts, and as you deliberately choose the more positive end of the stick of
possibilities, regarding the subjects that dominate your thought processes, that door will open and
everything that you desire will flow easily into your experience.
41. It gets better the better it gets
When you deliberately seek positive aspects of whatever you are giving your attention to, you, in a
sense, tune your vibrational tuner to more positive aspects of everything. And, of course, you could
tune yourself negatively as well.
Many people struggle in an attitude of self-criticism as a result of negative comparison that has been
directed to them from parents or teachers or peers, and there’s nothing more detrimental to your
ability to positively attract than a negative attitude toward yourself. So, sometimes by choosing a
subject about which you’ve practiced fewer negative thoughts, you can tune yourself to a better
feeling frequency, and then from that better feeling place, as you redirect your thoughts toward
yourself, you will find more positive aspects about yourself than usual. Once you find more positive
aspects of the world that surrounds you, you will begin to find more positive aspects about yourself.
And when that happens, finding more positive aspects about your world will be easier still. When
you find things about yourself that you do not like, you will find more of those things in others. You
say, “The worse it gets the worse it gets”. But as you are deliberately looking for positive aspects in
yourself or in others, you will find more of those things: "The better it gets, the better it gets".
We cannot overemphasize the value in looking for positive aspects and focusing upon more of
things wanted, because everything that comes to you is dependant upon that very simple premise:
you get more and more of what you are thinking about—whether you want it or not.
42. My Universe is positively and negatively balanced
So, you are the creator of your experience. Or you could say that you’re the attractor of your
experience. Creating is not about identifying something wanted and then going after it and
capturing it. Creating is about focusing upon the subject of desire, tuning your thoughts more
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precisely to the aspects of the subject that you would like to experience, and therefore allowing the
LOA to bring it to you. Whether you’re remembering something from the past, imagining
something about the future, or observing something from your now, you’re offering thought
vibrations that the LOA is responding to. You may refer to your thoughts as desires or beliefs (a
belief is only a thought that you keep thinking), but whatever you’re giving your attention to is
establishing your point of attraction.
Because every subject is actually two subjects – what is wanted and the lack of what is wanted – it’s
possible to believe that you’re positively focused, when in fact you’re negatively focused. A person
may say, “I want more money”, but what they’re actually focused upon is the fact that they don’t
have as much money as they need. Most people talk most often about their desire to be healthy
when they’re feeling sick. In other words, their attention to what they do not want is what is
prompting their remarks about what they do want. But in the majority of cases, even though they
may be speaking words that seem to indicate that they’re focused upon their desire, they are not.
It’s only by consciously recognizing how you’re feeling while you’re speaking that you really know
if you’re positively or negatively attracting. And while you may not see immediate evidence of
what you’re in the process of attracting, whatever you’re thinking about is amassing matching
thoughts and vibrations and energies. And eventually the evidence of your attraction will be
obvious.
43. My Universe responds to my attention to..
Most people believe, or would like to believe, that everything in the Universe responds to their
words in the same way that other people around them can sometimes be trained to behave. When
you tell someone, “Yes, come to me”, you expect them to come. When you say, “No, go away from
me”, you expect them to go. But you live in an attraction based Universe, an inclusion based
Universe, which simply means, there’s no such thing as “No”. When you give your attention to
something wanted and you say, “Yes, come to me”, you include it in your vibration, and the LOA
begins the process of bringing it. But when you look at something unwanted and you say, “No, I do
not want you. Go away!”, the Universe brings that also. Your attention to it, and therefore your
vibrational alignment with it is what’s causing the response, not your words. And so, as you say,
“Perfect health, I seek you, I want you. I bask in the idea of perfect health”, you’re attracting health.
But as you say, “Sickness, I do not want you”, you’re attracting sickness. As you say, “No, no, no!”,
it’s coming closer closer closer, because the more you struggle against something that you do not
want, the more engulfed in it you become.
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People often believe that once they find their perfect mate or achieve their perfect body weight, or
accumulate enough money, then once and for all they will find the happiness that they seek. But
nowhere is there a little corner of something where only positive aspects exist. The perfect balance
of the Universe says that positive and negative, wanted and unwanted exists in all particles of the
Universe. When you as the creator, the chooser, the definer, the decider, when you look for positive
aspects, that becomes what you live in all aspects of your life. You don’t have to wait around for
that perfect thing to show itself to you so that you can then have a positive response to it, instead
you can positively train your thoughts and vibrations. And then you will become the attractor of it,
or the creator of it.
We would encourage you to begin each day with the statement: “Today, no matter where I go, no
matter what I’m doing, and no matter who I’m doing it with, it is my dominant intent to look for
what I’m wanting to see.”
Remember, when you awaken in the morning, you are reborn. While you have slumbered, all
attraction has stopped. That sequestering away for a few hours of sleep, where your consciousness
is no longer attracting, gives you a refreshing new beginning. And so, unless you wake up in the
morning and begin regurgitating what troubled you the day before, it will not trouble you in your
new day, in your new birth, in your new beginning.
44. Decisions to feel good attract good feelings
A woman said to us, when she found out that she was going to be attending some holiday parties,
she said, “As soon as I heard that I was going, I started thinking, “Oh, Mary is going to be there.
She’s going to look so gorgeous””. She realized that just the idea of the party was causing her to
compare herself to other people. And she said to us, “I want to stop doing that. I want to feel good
about me, and just enjoy the parties no matter who is there”. She asked us if we could help her with
the process of pivoting and positive aspects. She knew she was feeling self-conscious and didn’t
know what to do about it. She said, “I don’t even want to go to the parties”.
We said to her, “While your feeling of self-consciousness is amplified, as you think about going to
these parties, it’s not Mary who is the reason for your discomfort”.
It often feels very complicated to sort out your relationships with other people. Sometimes you even
try to trace those feelings back to your childhood. But there really is no point in doing that. You
have the ability from right where you stand right now to find positive or negative aspects, to think
of wanted or unwanted. And whether you begin the process now or several days before you go to
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the party, or whether you wait until you’re at the party, your work is still the same: you must look
for things that feel good when you focus upon them.
Because you have more control over what’s activated in your own mind, it is usually much easier to
find the positive aspects of a situation before you’re standing right in the middle of it. So, if you do
imagine the situation as you want it to be, and you take the time to practice your positive response
to the upcoming situation, then when you’re at the party, you will witness the control that you set
into motion days before, before you were at the party.
You cannot feel good and bad at the same time. You can’t focus upon wanted and unwanted at the
same time. So, if you’ve trained your thoughts to what you consider to be good or wanted before
you arrive at the party, the LOA will deliver to you things that feel good and are wanted. It really is
as simple as that.
We said to our friend, if you want to feel different at these upcoming parties than you’ve felt at the
parties in previous years, you have to begin telling a different story. The story you’ve been telling
goes something like:
“I’m only invited to these parties because of my relationship with my mate. It really is not important
to anyone that I be there. I’m not really a part of his work environment, and I don’t really
understand most of the things that they are interested in. I’m like an outsider. Mary doesn’t feel like
an outsider like I do. Her confidence is obvious in the way she dresses and carries herself. I always
feel less attractive and less smart, less everything when I’m near Mary. I hate feeling like this. I
wish I didn’t have to go.”
We told our friend, here’s an example of a better feeling story:
“My mate is well respected at his firm. It’s nice that his company occasionally provides an
opportunity for people who work there to include their spouses to get to know one another. No one
there expects me to be up to speed with the inner workings of that environment. In fact, this is a
party where they will probably enjoy thinking about things other than their work. Life’s much larger
than what happens at my husband’s office. And since I’m never there, I may very well appear to be
a breath of fresh air to many of them, because I’m not bogged down in the things that they’re
troubled about. Mary seems light and friendly. She’s clearly not bogged down in office politics or
problems. It’s fun to watch her. She’s interesting. I wonder where she buys her clothes. Very pretty
things she wears.”
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We wanted our friend to see that it’s not necessary to sort out every insecurity that she’d ever felt
and use this office party as a means to solve it. We told her, “Just find something positive to focus
upon, and feel the benefit of having done so. And in time Mary, or all the Maries, will be a nonissue.
In fact, Mary could become your friend. But in any case, it’s your decision to make. You just
have to vibrationally practice it to make it so”.
45. How can I not feel their pain?
Our friend Jerry said to us that it seemed to him that the majority of his discomfort is because of
observing others who are in discomfort or in pain. And he wanted to know how he could use the
pivoting process to not feel pain about their pain. We explain that whatever the subject of your
attention, it contains things that you want to see as well as things that you do not want to see. If
you’re feeling pain, it is not because the person that you’re observing is in pain, your pain is
because you’ve chosen to look at an aspect of them that causes you to feel pain. And there’s a big
difference. Of course, if this person were not feeling pain, but were instead joyful, it would be
easier for you to feel joyful. But you must not rely on conditions changing in order to control the
way you feel. You must improve your ability to focus positively regardless of the condition. And to
do that, it helps to remember that every subject has wanted and unwanted within it. And, if you’re
deliberate, you can find something that feels better.
Of course, it is easier just to observe something that’s right before your eyes, than it is to
deliberately sift for things that you would prefer to see. However, when it really matters to you that
you feel good, you’ll be less willing to merely lazily or sloppily observe, because your desire to feel
good will inspire a greater willingness to look for positive aspects. Also, the more you do look for
good feeling things to focus upon, the more of those kinds of good feeling things the LOA will
bring to you. Until in time you’ll be so positively oriented that you simply will not notice the things
that don’t match your positive orientation.
We were visiting with a mother at one time, and we encouraged her to just ignore her son’s
problems.
And she said, “But won’t he feel like I’ve abandoned him? Don’t I need to be there for him?”
And we explained to her that there is no abandonment in focusing upon the positive aspects of
someone’s life. And there is powerful value in abandoning any thoughts that do not feel good when
you think them. We told her, you will never help anyone by being their sounding board for
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problems or complaints. By holding an image of improvement in your son’s life you help him move
toward that. Be there for him. Call him there to that better feeling place.
When it’s your deliberate intention to feel good, and you really care about how you feel, you’ll find
more and more thoughts about more and more subjects that do feel good. And then you will be
better prepared to interface with others who could be feeling good or bad. Because of your desire to
feel good you will have prepaved your experience with others with whom you will be interacting.
And then it will be much easier for you to focus positively about their situation no matter what sort
of mess they’re in. But if you’ve not been tending to your own vibration and you’ve not been
consistently holding yourself in good feeling thoughts and vibrations, then you may be swept away
into their situation, and you may very well feel discomfort.
We just want to emphasize that you’re not feeling their pain caused by their situation, but instead
you’re feeling your own pain, brought about by your own thinking. There’s great control in that
understanding, and, if fact, true freedom. When you discover that you can control the way you feel
because you can control the thoughts you think, then you are free to joyously move about your
Planet. But when you believe that the way you feel is dependant upon the behavior or situations of
others, and you also understand that you have no control over those behaviors or situations, you do
not feel free. That, in fact, was the pain that our friend Jerry was describing.